Communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Yet, amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, conversations about finances often take a back seat. Money matters can be a sensitive topic, and it is no surprise that it ranks as the number one issue couples argue about. Neglecting to address financial concerns can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
Many couples initially embark on their financial journey together but, over time, they may inadvertently fall into distinct roles – one managing bills, the other overseeing investments, or only one deals with the finances. While this division of labor can help to tackle the daily to-do lists, it can also create an information gap. Without periodic check-ins, partners may lose sight of how they are spending money. Even the person responsible for paying the monthly bills may not be realizing the creep in expenses without a checkpoint.
When you meet regularly with a financial planner, those discussions are typically high-level overviews. You still need a forum to address some of the practical nuts and bolts of finances. Essential to maintaining a shared plan is creating a safe space to throw out ideas and concerns to see if they rise to the level of affecting your larger financial plan.
Enter the concept of a financial date night – a dedicated time for couples to come together and discuss their finances openly and honestly. This intimate setting allows both partners to gain a deeper understanding of their current situation and raise ideas, questions, and concerns. It can bridge the information gap that develops overtime. We recommend finding a place where you can focus and speak freely. You can easily prepare for the discussion by gathering credit card and/or bank statements to compare current spending with previous years. Many credit card companies provide year-end summaries that categorize your spending for easy comparison. Making a list of any upcoming larger expenses will also aid in starting the conversation.
Life is constantly evolving and so are our financial needs and circumstances. Insurance costs may rise unexpectedly, or monthly expenses like cell phone and internet may creep up over time. You may be reaching the end of daycare costs but then find out that the school-age soccer teams are far more expensive than you realized. A review of subscriptions to confirm that you are still using and enjoying all of them will help you either prioritize the monthly charges or help you redirect those funds elsewhere. A financial date night provides a forum to refresh your understanding of what expenses are and how they have evolved over time. You can discuss how best to address rising costs and changing circumstances.
A financial date night can also help you work through your wants and desires to see where they fit in your priorities. A financial date night is a low-pressure environment to bring up ideas and see if they fit. For example, it may also be a place to voice “smaller” thoughts like, I look in my closet and everything looks tired – can we afford to spend on a wardrobe uplift without worry or does something else take precedence? Addressing those little questions together removes the chance for worry and resentment to build.
Worries and fears can create roadblocks in a relationship. A financial date night provides a forum to raise those worries and fears, clear the air, and brainstorm ways to address them. You might be worried about the security of your job and how you will protect yourself if one of you is unemployed. Or you realize that you have been spending on take-out frequently and it may bring up the stresses of the workday and discussions of how best to address them. It is often hard to bring up those topics without a specific opportunity like a financial date night to open that door to better communication.
A financial date night isn’t just about addressing current concerns; it’s also an opportunity to plan for the future. As life changes, so do our aspirations and desires. It is also a place to discuss larger expenses like a vacation you might like to take or an interesting retirement lifestyle you read about. Discussions like these allow couples to align their financial strategies and work toward shared goals and dreams.
A financial date night is more than just a practical exercise in budgeting. It is a building brick that strengthens a partnership. By creating dedicated time to discuss finances and share ideas and concerns, couples can deepen their connection and strengthen their trust. So why not make financial date nights a regular part of your relationship? It will bring you one step closer to a brighter future together.
Reach out today. This could be the start of a great relationship.
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